Title Change, didn't know that it was the same as the last.

I've always been bad with blogging. But I think anymore my problem is facebook and twitter. Not that I really get overly detailed with my messages, but I do tend to get a bit more personal on twitter. Most of the people on twitter are either web sites I follow, who don't follow me, really close friends or ones I hardly see or some friends I have had forever that I have never met personally, none of these people judge me for who I am. On facebook I'm just a tad more reserved since I have to worry about who might read my works. Here it's unexplainable, because I'm nervous about who might read, but at the same time I don't think anyone really does read it. I mean who would come here, when I haven't posted in almost 3 months. Not that there hasn't been a lot going on because there has been.

There was me completing my first semester at the community college, working towards my RN, then there is my absolutely, ridiculous obsession with the Twilight series, and just about anything about Lexie. I've also been going through a rough time personally. What to talk about first though.

Let's start with school. I took 4 gen eds this spring. I got 3 A's and one B. Not overly happy about the outcome, but it's better than my first semester at Doane, LOL. I thought it would be difficult, and it was but I think I was better prepared. I still don't know the best way for me to study, but I managed to get through somehow. I am taking 2 classes this summer, Anatomy and Physiology and Writing & Research. Not overly excited about either, but I did manage an A on my first test in A & P. I also get to start nursing classes in the Fall and I am absolutely pumped about it.

Then the whole Twilight thing, it's ridiculous like I sad. Dave thinks I'm insane, and I don't know what to think. I'm pretty sure that I feel the same way he does, but I just can't get enough. But I feel a little better that maybe once the movies are done if won't hold that interest it does now. Like with Harry Potter, I have read all the books a couple times, but I've read the last 2 more than that, just because their isn't a movie to go along with it. Doesn't make much sense though. It's like once I see the movies and read the books a couple times, I really know the story pretty well. I tried to start reading the Harry Potter books again and it was like I was being forced to read them, but still a bit enjoyable.

Oh and Lexie. Potty training is absolutely not working. She did so well in January for awhile and then, she didn't want much to do with it. We are still trying, but we just can't get through to her. On May 12th, she turned 3 and time has just flown by way too fast. Which I guess brings me to the next problem, which is that I always wanted to have more children, only one or 2 more, but I didn't want them to be so far apart in age. But at this point we don't have much of a choice. I'm going back to school, and we aren't anywhere near financially secure. It just makes me sad, especially since I now have my nephew who is 5 months old now, one of my bridemaids in having a baby due the end of November and then we just found out some of our friends that had their first baby about 18 months after Lexie and pregnant with their second. So you can say I'm a bit jealous and depressed even. I wish we were secure financially and able to have a baby. Heck we already have names picked out, but we are crazy like that. If you want to know them, ask and I might tell them to you.

So I guess that's where part of my issues personally stem from. I'm just not happy with how my life is right now. I'm not happy with how I look physically, I want to lose like 20 pounds and get a 6 pack(lol, not going to happen). And I do know that I want to be a nurse but I want to do so many other things too. I want to learn massage, guitar and maybe start singing again. It would be so awesome to be a musician, though I've never had much faith in my singing abilities, but I know I had to be good enough to get into an auditioned choir in college and getting a duet in a concert and being inches away from having a solo in the Messiah. Always got A's or A+'s in choir and voice lessons. Maybe I could be good, lol. But along with that I miss going to my friends concerts and even just being with friends in general. I just feel so incredibly isolated here. It's like the only pull this place, meaning Nebraska as a whole has for me is my family. I think that for the first time in my life, I actually may want to leave this place, and that's saying something.

Well I think that's enough crazy talk for one day. If anyone is out there actually reading this, I say thanks. Leave a message if you want.